I can't believe this.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

Outlet.

When things seem to be overwhelming, when the world around you feels like its caving in, making you feel trapped in this nothingness of a life, how do you handle that feeling? How can one shake off the feeling of being depressed. Like there's no point? No light. No joy. Empty.
Every one has their own way of dealing with this. For some people its working out all the worries or reading to escape the reality. For others its drugs or drinking. Then there are people who try to kill themselves because of the hopelessness of it all.
How do you look at a person and tell them that there's hope and that things will be okay when you can't possibly understand what they're going through? You don't have the same perspective. Every person has their own unique way of viewing the world. That's why sometimes it's extremely difficult for one to try and help someone they care about. All they can really do is listen. Listen and pray for the best. With that being sad, how can one look at life and decide there's nothing else to live for?

I believe that we always have a choice. I'm not talking about the whole optimist vs. pessimist, half empty vs. half full glass of water thing. I mean we have a choice to either succumb to these feelings and just give up on ourselves or we can find a way to pull through it.
Along the way people need an outlet. To just let all that negative emotions and energy out. Pick up an instrument. Belt out a song. Pour your heart and soul on a canvas and paint your emotions on it. Pick up a pen and write a story. Go out there and be proactive. Life can be.. sucky. Yes. Life sucks. We all know the ending to life. Its death. boohoo HUGE spoiler. But you know, being on your deathbed and realizing that you spent the best years of your life moping around waiting for things to get better instead of getting up and making the most of it.. that must be the biggest regret a person can have.

I'm done feeling hopeless. I'm done feeling scared of the future. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm done feeling empty. I'm done telling myself that there's nothing for me out there. I'M DONE LOCKING MYSELF IN MY ROOM AND BASKING IN THE AMBIANCE OF MY MISERY WHILE LISTENING TO DEPRESSING MUSIC. How the hell would I know how amazing my life can be if i don't try? Life is about perspective. How YOU view the world around you. How you view the people around you. And how you view yourself as a human being. If your current view isn't working out for you, then it's time for a change in scenery.
There comes a time when one just decides.. the hell with my current SUCKY situation. I'm awesome so SCREW YOU HOPELESS ASS SPIRITS! I'm done waiting and I'm done with you. Geez.
And that's really all I have to say about thaaaat.

End.Freakin.Rant.

Trying to decide whether I want to get a haircut or not. hhhmmm...

Sometimes I wish that starbucks delivers.

You know, like you call them and order a drink then they deliver it to your house. lol
I could go for a white mocha right now but I'm too lazy to go there and I have no idea how to make one. So if starbucks delivers all I'll have to do is call them and they'll be here with my drink and I don't have to do anything but call them and order.
THAT WOULD BE SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

But it's like a whole new level of lazy though. Oh goodness.

"No more shackles. No more chains. No more bondage. I am free"

Hanging with the guys at six flags :)

Also, this is the last time I will ever go to six flags. EVER. I hate it there.

This song is like the story of my life right now.

"The grass is greener where you water it.... not on the other side"

Quoted this from Kim Kardashian's twitter. lol
This tweet served as a confirmation for me. I just finished studying Ecclesiastes 11&12. I read the NKJV, the amplified version, and the message version of both chapters.

The easiest version to understand is the message version but when I wanted something with more depth, I found the amplified version sufficed.

As I read, the 2 main points I got from the chapters are:
1) You're only young once, enjoy it. Enjoy your youth and don't take anything for granted. Go out on adventures before you grow old because living your life becomes more difficult with old age. Go after what seduces your hear and live out your youth but always keep in mind that God will eventually hold you accountable for your actions(whether good or bad). So live your youth but in the end, with whatever you do, you'll have to answer to God.

"You who are young, make the most of your youth. 

   Relish your youthful vigor. 

   Follow the impulses of your heart. 

   If something looks good to you, pursue it. 

   But know also that not just anything goes; 

   You have to answer to God for every last bit of it. "

"Therefore remove [the lusts that end in] sorrow and

 vexation from your heart and mind and put away evil from your body, 

for youth and the dawn of life are vanity [transitory, idle, empty, and devoid of truth]."

"Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over.
   Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends.
   The body is put back in the same ground it came from.
   The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it. "

2) DON'T BE LAZY. Go out there. Do some good deeds. Sow some seeds, spread them out, because in the end you'll never know what you'll sow. Do work. Water your grass and you'll see the results of your labor. 

"Be generous: Invest in acts of charity. Charity yields high returns."

"Don't hoard your goods; spread them around. 

   Be a blessing to others. This could be your last night."

"When the clouds are full of water, it rains. 

   When the wind blows down a tree, it lies where it falls. 

   Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work. 

   Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life. "

"Go to work in the morning 

      and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. 

   You never know from moment to moment 

      how your work will turn out in the end."

Yupp. Pretty straight forward aye? LOL

The tweet confirmed my second point, which is pretty cool:)
I need to get my lazy bum to study for the board and to finally take my driving test so I can finally get my license! 

Pasta and I don't mesh well together.

I've recently concluded that I'm not a big fan of pasta. Seriously. I hate the stuff. I mean, I love spaghetti, so I figured I love pasta too.
But every time I order any kind of pasta I end up regretting it. LOL

So that settles that. I don't like pasta.